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Question
What do you like better - to listen to a joke, or to tell a joke?
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Solution
I enjoy telling jokes more! Sharing humour is like giving a small gift of laughter. Every time I tell a joke, I feel as if I'm part of a timeless storytelling tradition, putting a new spin on the ancient skill of making people happy. In addition, creating the ideal punchline and expecting the listener's reaction adds another level of excitement. It's a great challenge to make someone's day with words.
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| (1) | “Can I see the Manager?” I said, and added solemnly, “Alone.” I don't know why I said “Alone.” “Certainly,” said the accountant and fetched him. | |
| (2) | The Manager was a grave, calm man. I held my fifty-six dollars clutched in a crumpled ball in my pocket. “Are you the Manager?” I asked. God knows I did not doubt it. “Yes,” he said. “Can I see you …. alone?” I asked. |
5 |
| (3) | The Manager looked at me in some alarm. He felt that I had an awful secret to reveal. “Come in here,” he said, and led the way to a private room. He turned the key in the lock. “We are safe from interruption here,” he said; “Sit down.” We both sat down and looked at each other. I found no voice to speak. “You are one of Pinkerton’s men, I presume,” he said. |
10 |
| (4) |
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15
20
|
| (5) | The Manager got up and opened the door. He called to the accountant. “Mr. Montgomery,” he said unkindly loud, “this gentleman is opening an account, he will deposit fifty-six dollars. Good morning.” I rose. A big iron door stood open at the side of the room. “Good morning,” I said, and stepped into the safe. “Come out,” said the Manager coldly and showed me the other way. |
30 |
| (6) | I went up to the accountant’s wicket and poked the ball of money at him with a quick convulsive movement as if I were doing a conjuring trick. My face was ghastly pale. “Here,” I said, “deposit it.” The tone of the words seemed to mean, “Let us do this painful thing while the fit is on us.” He took the money and gave it to another clerk. |
35 |
| (7) | He made me write the sum on a slip and sign my name in a book. I no longer knew what I was doing. The bank swam before my eyes. “Is it deposited?” I asked in a hollow, vibrating voice. “It is,” said the accountant. “Then I want to draw a cheque.” My idea was to draw out six dollars of it for present use. Someone gave me a chequebook through a wicket and someone else began telling me how to write it out. The people in the bank had the impression that I was an invalid millionaire. I wrote something on the cheque and thrust it in at the clerk. He looked at it. |
40
45 |
| (8) | “What! Are you drawing it all out again?” he asked in surprise. Then I realised that I had written fifty-six instead of six. I was too far gone to reason now. I had a feeling that it was impossible to explain the thing. I had burned my boats. All the clerks had stopped writing to look at me. Reckless with misery, I made a plunge. “Yes, the whole thing.” “You withdraw all your money from the bank?” “Every cent of it.” “Are you not going to deposit anymore?” said the clerk, astonished. “Never.” |
50
55 |
| (9) | An idiot hope struck me that they might think something had insulted me while I was writing the cheque and that I had changed my mind. I made a wretched attempt to look like a man with a fearfully quick temper. | |
| (10) | The clerk prepared to pay the money. “How will you have it?” he said. This question came as a bolt from the blue. “What?” “How will you have it?” “Oh!”— I caught his meaning and answered without even trying to think— “in fifties.” He gave me a fifty-dollar bill. “And the six?” he asked dryly. “In sixes,” I said. He gave it to me and I rushed out. As the big door swung behind me. I caught the echo of a roar of laughter that went up to the ceiling of the bank. Since then, I bank no more. I keep my money in cash in my trousers pocket and my savings in silver dollars in a sock. |
60
65
70 |
| Adapted from: My Financial Career By Stephen Leacock |
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- Find a single word from the passage that will exactly replace the underlined word or words in the following sentences. [3]
- The kind stranger went and got back the ball from where it had rolled into the bush.
- I took offence at the expression on his face that was clearly meant to insinuate I was a liar.
- The firm experienced a financial loss when the contract went to a contender who had just entered the business.
- For each of the words given below, choose the correct sentence that uses the same word unchanged in spelling, but with a different meaning from that which it carries in the passage. [3]
- alarm (line 8)
- The silence from the other end set off alarm bells in her head.
- The pallor of his skin alarmed those standing around.
- I set my alarm for six o’clock but slept through it.
- The sound of the approaching jets caused some alarm in the war room.
- wicket (line 44)
- The wicketkeeper was the true saviour of the day for that one match.
- The team wanted to bat while the wicket was still dry.
- The man at the window handed us our tickets through the wicket.
- The quick loss of wickets demoralised the team.
- reason (line 48)
- After the tragedy, his ability to reason is severely diminished.
- They reasoned they could get better seats if they arrived early.
- Recipients of funds were selected without rhyme or reason.
- We have every reason to celebrate.
- alarm (line 8)
- Find a single word from the passage that will exactly replace the underlined word or words in the following sentences. [3]
- Answer the following questions as briefly as possible in your own words.
- With reference to the passage, explain the meaning of the expression of the ‘I had burned my boats?’ [2]
- Cite any two instances of the behaviour of the bank employees that indicate the insignificance of a deposit of fifty-six dollars. [2]
- Why do you think the people in the bank thought of the narrator as an “invalid millionaire?” [2]
- Summarise why the narrator decided ‘to bank no more’ (paragraphs 6 to 10). You are required to write the summary in the form of a connected passage in about 100 words. Failure to keep within the word limit will be penalised. [8]
