Question

We all have some notions about our ideal selves, i.e. and what we would like to be? Take time to imagine that you have achieved your ideal self. With this notion of your ideal self, express your attitudes towards these categories: (a) school, (b) friends, (c) family, and (d) money. Write a paragraph on each describing your ideal attitudes. Next write all these categories on four sheets of paper and ask your two friends and two family members to write about what they perceive to be your real attitudes towards these categories. These four persons will describe your real self as they see you. Compare your ideal descriptions with others’ real descriptions in detail. Are they very similar or dissimilar? Prepare a report on this.

Answer 1

Report: Exploring the Ideal Self vs. the Real Self

1. School/College: As my ideal self, my attitude toward school is driven by a genuine, self-motivated thirst for knowledge and academic excellence rather than a mere anxiety about obtaining passing grades. I view classrooms as spaces for intellectual curiosity and active engagement, always completing assignments punctually and approaching complex subjects with a resilient, growth-oriented mindset. I balance structural compliance with creativity, seeing teachers as trusted mentors rather than distant authoritative entities.
2. Friends: In my ideal state, my attitude toward friendship is built on deep empathy, loyalty, and emotional stability. I am an active, non-judgmental listener who provides absolute psychological safety to my peers during periods of distress. I celebrate my friends’ accomplishments without an ounce of competitive jealousy, maintaining clear personal boundaries while nurturing collaborative relationships that encourage mutual personal development.
3. Family: My ideal attitude toward my family is rooted in profound respect, open communication, and emotional maturity. I am a responsible and supportive family member who contributes meaningfully to household cohesion and remains calm during domestic conflicts. I proactively bridge generational gaps by expressing gratitude, validating my parents’ or siblings’ perspectives, and balancing my personal independence with shared familial duties.
4. Money: As my ideal self, my attitude toward money is purely pragmatic and detached from superficial materialism. I view money strictly as a tool for financial security, individual autonomy, and philanthropic opportunity, rather than a metric of human self-worth. I practice disciplined financial planning, prioritizing long-term investments and charitable acts over impulsive, status-driven spending.

Perceived Real Self Data Collection

Summary of Collected External Perceptions:

1. School: Both friends noted that while I score high marks, I frequently procrastinate on submissions and experience high examination anxiety. Family members added that I study primarily under deadline pressure.
2. Friends: Friend 1 and Friend 2 described me as highly dependable and humorous, but noted that I can occasionally become defensive or closed off when discussing my own emotional struggles.
3. Family: Family members stated that I am deeply affectionate and helpful, but sometimes react irritably or withdraw into my room when experiencing academic fatigue.
4. Money: Family members perceived me as reasonably sensible with money but prone to minor impulsive spending on gadgets/clothing. Friends perceived me as generous but occasionally careless with daily budgets.

Comparative Analysis (Ideal vs. Real Self)

Category	Ideal Self Profile	Real Self (Perceived by Others)	Level of Congruence
School	Intrinsic curiosity, highly disciplined, perfectly calm.	Goal-oriented but prone to high anxiety and procrastination.	Dissimilar (Incongruent)
Friends	Flawless empathy, absolute openness, no vulnerability barriers.	Loyal and fun, but emotionally guarded at times.	Moderately Similar
Family	Perfectly composed, proactive, zero domestic friction.	Loving and supportive, but occasionally irritable under stress.	Moderately Similar
Money	Total financial detachment, strictly pragmatic spending.	Generally responsible but prone to impulsive retail therapy.	Highly Similar

Conclusion & Psychological Reflection

According to Carl Rogers’ Self Theory, the disparities identified in this report reveal areas where my self-concept experiences minor incongruence. The anxiety and procrastination observed by my family and friends show that my current behaviour is driven by external performance metrics.

To bridge the gap between my Real Self and Ideal Self, I need to focus on enhancing my self-efficacy and emotional regulation rather than chasing a flawless, unrealistic standard. Acknowledging these differences allows me to reduce defensiveness and move closer toward becoming a fully functioning person.