Question

A classmate or friend of yours or your favourite character in a TV serial may have recently experienced a negative or a traumatic life event (e.g., death of a loved one, break-up of an important friendship or relationship) of which you are aware. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, try to experience how that person is feeling, what s/he is thinking and try to take her/his perspective of the entire situation. This will help you to understand better how that person is feeling.

(Note: This exercise may be done in class, so that teachers can help students in overcoming any distress experienced).

Answer 1

A close friend and classmate.

Unexpected death of a parent (father) due to a sudden illness.

1. Emotional Dimension: What is he feeling?
   Putting myself in Rahul’s shoes, I realize that his emotional state is not just “sadness”; it is a complex, overwhelming storm of shifting emotions:
   • Numbness and Disbelief: Initially, he feels completely frozen. The suddenness of the loss leaves him shocked, making the reality feel surreal or like a bad dream.
   • Profound Grief and Emptiness: There is a heavy, physical ache of sorrow. The home and spaces once occupied by his father now feel painfully hollow.
   • Anxiety and Fear: As a student, he feels an underlying panic about the future. He is terrified of navigating life, finances, and family responsibilities without his primary support system.
   • Guilt: He experiences flashes of regret over trivial past arguments or things left unsaid, wondering if he could have been a better son.
2. Cognitive Dimension: What is he thinking?
   Taking his perspective allows me to understand the intrusive, exhausting thoughts running through his mind daily:
   • “How can life just keep moving forward for everyone else when my world has completely stopped?”
   • “I don’t know how to support my mother and younger sibling when I feel completely broken inside myself.”
   • “Will I ever feel genuinely happy or normal again, or will this heavy cloud hang over me forever?”
   • “I am falling behind in my classes, but I just cannot find the mental energy to care about grades right now.”
3. Situational Perspective: Looking at the Entire Situation
   When I look at the world strictly from Rahul’s viewpoint, the entire context of his life has transformed overnight:
   • The Weight of Reminders: Simple, everyday routines like seeing other families together, walking past his father’s favourite chair, or hearing classmates talk about their parents act as sudden triggers for emotional pain.
   • The Burden of Sympathy: While he appreciates the condolences, constantly receiving pitiful looks or repeated questions about how he is doing makes him feel isolated and defined entirely by his tragedy.
   • The Struggle for Identity: He is transitioning overnight from being a carefree student to feeling like he must step up as an adult figure in his household, creating an intense internal conflict.

Conclusion & Reflection

By consciously practicing perspective-taking, I understand that Rahul does not just need standard phrases of pity (like “I'm sorry for your loss”). Instead, he needs a safe, non-judgmental space where he can sit in silence, express anger or sorrow without being managed, and receive practical, quiet support such as sharing class notes or handling daily chores without him having to ask for it.